Ten Ways to identify Idiots! Or How DO writers deal with idiots?

Here is the Be That Writer guide to dealing with idiots:

As a writer, you will find that you have to deal with a lot of idiots. However, it would be wrong to TELL them that they are idiots. Especially if they happen to be standing between you and an income as a published author or writer!

These are some pointers to a happier life! This is slightly tongue-in-cheek. But only slightly!

1) Never use a 100 word explanation to an idiot, when a two word answer will suffice. Remember. Your time is your money.

2) Never give free house room in your mind to idiots. They will not be thinking of you, so return the compliment!

3) Use the idiots you meet to your advantage. Various idiots have featured in articles that I have written. Here are some examples. A newspaper (published by a very large company) kept failing to pay me on time. It got to the point where I was SURE that they owed me a great deal of money, but could not prove it. I wrote a letter to the editor's personal secretary asking when I could expect to be paid. I cherished her reply. I want to share one part of it with you. Please savour, with me, the rich strangeness of the following bizarre sentence: "As to the non-payment of monies, this has been ongoing, whereby we have tried all ways." (Yes, I guess that her unique way of using the English language must be why she is the personal secretary to the editor. Or was it her long legs and ultra short miniskirts? We will never know for sure, but I have my suspicions!) I used this is an article on life as a freelance journalist.

4) Never, ever enter into a debate with an idiot. Believe me, life is not long enough. And as I have said, your time is your money.

5) You can't always recognise an idiot at a distance. Some of the worst idiots are people who look "normal."
6) Some idiots have difficulty in identifying cause and effect.

7) Idiots are often in positions of authority.

8) Idiots tend to judge other people by their own low standards.

9) Idiots cannot recognise that sometimes bad things just happen. They must always have someone to blame. But never themselves!

10) Idiots are usually unable to recognise that other people ARE people, and not merely randomly placed items of furniture in their personal universe and for their personal use.

I'll finish now with a quote from Scott Adams' The Joy of Work. Scott Adams' management books are a must! "Trying to win an argument with an irrational person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. No matter how clear your instructions. It won't work."